


Drive Me Crazy

by psiten



Series: SASO 2016 Fills [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Birthday Sex, Car Sex, Challenge: Sport Anime Shipping Olympics | SASO 2016, Coitus Interruptus, Comedy, Established Relationship, Fluff, Ghost Stories, Hand Jobs, Jump Scare (Kind of), M/M, Making Out, Non-Penetrative Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reference to Road Head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 08:45:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7677796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psiten/pseuds/psiten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>"Happy 18th birthday," Oikawa whispered in Iwa-chan's ear while his boyfriend eased into park by the woods. There were some benefits to living in basically the middle of nowhere. "I can't believe your Dad let us take the car."</p>
  <p>"Yeah, well, I'm betting he decided he'd rather have us in the car than risk walking in on you blowing me again."</p>
</blockquote>Written for SASO 2016: Bonus Round 5 (Mythology and Lore). In many ways, I tried to emulate the storytelling techniques of a ghost story as well as having Oikawa tell one within the fic, but at the end of the day, it is what it is, and it ain't nothing else.
            </blockquote>





	Drive Me Crazy

     "Happy 18th birthday," Oikawa whispered in Iwa-chan's ear while his boyfriend eased into park by the woods. There were some benefits to living in basically the middle of nowhere. "I can't believe your Dad let us take the car."

     "Yeah, well, I'm betting he decided he'd rather have us in the car than risk walking in on you blowing me again. I put a blanket in the back if you want to--"

     "Oooh, but it's better to stay up front around these woods, you know!" Oikawa chuckled. Grabbing Iwa-chan's shirt and dragging him into kissing range, he murmured through nuzzles and hot breaths. "Don't tell me you haven't heard the stories about this place!"

     His boyfriend growled. Oikawa wasn't above grinning over how he felt that sound all the way down in his pants. "This better not be about getting abducted by aliens, Tooru. 'Cause I've got plans to be the only one probing you tonight."

     "Ha! No, silly, it's a ghost! You've never heard about the ghost of this old serial killer who haunts these woods?"

     With a sigh, Iwa-chan unbuckled both their safety belts and tugged Oikawa by the waist -- dragging his ass over the barrier between the driver and passenger seats. Having a boyfriend strong enough to manhandle you had its benefits. All at once, Oikawa was sprawled across the front of the car, back hitting Iwa-chan's lap, with a view of the stars out of the top of the windshield and a sarcastic glare in his boyfriend's eyes. "All right, Shittykawa," he said, teasing open Oikawa's shirt buttons so he could trace the skin on Oikawa's shoulder -- _not fair_. "Let's hear your ghost story."

     He pulled himself up, sitting on Iwa-chan's lap so his boyfriend could nibble on his neck properly while he listened. " _Well_. Years ago, there was a maximum security prison just over the hill--"

     "No, there wasn't."

     "Who's telling this story?!" Oikawa teased. Strike one for interrupting, he pushed his hand up under Iwa-chan's t-shirt to get at that spot he liked. That would do away with some of this logic! "Anyway, one of the prisoners there was a serial murderer, who'd only gotten caught because someone he was hunting had managed to slam his hand in a car door while he was fighting back. He killed the poor kid all the same, but before he could escape the scene..." Nibbling on Iwa-chan's ear, he murmured, "The murderer collapsed from blood loss. Back at the prison, they had to replace his hand with a hook!"

     "Did anyone ever tell you that you suck at talking dirty?" his boyfriend laughed.

     "That's not what your cock is saying," Oikawa shot back. The solid mass pressing harder into his thigh had a very different story to tell.

     "Whatever. So what'd your murderer do then?"

     "Oh, he died! In prison. I think he slipped on some soap on the shower or something? But the point is, he always blamed the kid in the car for how he got caught... right here on this very hill."

     Whether the shudder that ran through Iwa-chan's body had more to do with the ghost story or Oikawa unbuttoning his boyfriend's pants to start fondling his balls didn't really matter. All that mattered was how he had Iwa-chan's full attention. Although he kind of wished he'd invested in tearaway pants so he could make himself a little more fuckable without the need for an awkward scramble... maybe he'd just jack Iwa-chan off for Round One, and allow himself to be persuaded into the back seat for another go-around. It was his boyfriend's birthday, after all.

     And Iwa-chan seemed plenty happy to get serviced. He arched into Oikawa thumbing the slit at the top of his cock with that smug grunt Oikawa loved to hear so much.

     "So it wasn't long before people who parked on this hill for... various reasons... started hearing odd sounds after dark. The sound of footsteps when there was no one to be seen. Branches breaking, the sound coming nearer and nearer. The scratch of a hook... trying to get into the car." Of course, the sounds Iwa-chan was making would attract attention, too, but the windows were starting to steam up enough that no one would be able to see in, even if someone were there. "Then there was the shadowy figure appearing in the corner of someone's eye. Although... it wasn't until the anniversary of the hook-handed murderer's fateful capture... that the first people had their throats cut. The tell-tale shape of a hook had done them in, without any footprints leaving the scene... There's no saying how many people have died in cars parked on this hill--"

     "I think... mmph... I would've heard if there'd been any."

     "Shush, you," Oikawa answered, speeding up his stroke on Iwa-chan's cock until his boyfriend was properly reduced to a series of moans, shudders, and expletives. And it was a good thing Iwa-chan never took long to recover, because between the straining of the man he was straddling and the slick, solid feel of a boner getting ready to shoot off in his hand, he was going to need a little service himself pretty soon. "At least let me get to the part where it was always a hot summer night, just like tonight! In fact, I'm pretty sure tonight _is_ the--"

     "And I'm pretty sure you read all this in that ghost story book your uncle brought back." Iwa-chan had no trouble grabbing him by the ass again and tossing him, back first, onto the passenger seat. It knocked the wind out of his chest, but Oikawa didn't mind. While he got his breath back, his boyfriend did all the work of tugging his pants off, so they could get to the part where a seriously hot guy was biting his neck and jackhammering against his crotch. Foregoing underwear had been an A+ idea.

     Were there better ways to spend a summer night than getting ridden by your boyfriend at an awkward angle in the front seat of a car, begging him him to fuck you, and having him say you were shit out of luck until you could get to the back seat because that's where the lube was? Maybe. But Oikawa couldn't think of one while he was lightheaded from all the gasping and fondling. Now if only he could get Iwa-chan's shirt all the way off...

     The crunch of leaves under someone's foot brought him back to his senses all too fast.

     "Iwa-chan, did you hear that?"

     "Okay, haha, very funny..."

     With the next footstep, a stick snapped, which Iwa-chan definitely heard. "Come on, Tooru, did you con the guys into acting out your ghost story or something?"

     "No!" Oikawa hissed. "When we get to the part where you're fucking me, I don't actually want any interruptions! Why would I do that?"

     Still, the footsteps seemed to be coming nearer. And was he imagining a scraping sound on the back of the car? That had to be his imagination, right? The story had totally come out of the book his uncle brought back from the US. There hadn't even ever been a serial murderer in this town that he knew of!

     With a heavy sigh, Iwa-chan met his eyes. "Ghost or not, I'd rather not fuck you with an audience. Wanna hit up a hotel?"

     "Hotel sounds good," Oikawa agreed. As they were pulling themselves upright, though, Iwa-chan's solid, reddened cock caught his eye (obviously), still sticking up like a signal flag between his legs. The adrenaline probably wasn't helping it deflate. "Honey, there's no way you're getting that back in your pants. You're huge when you're hard. How do we do this without you getting arrested for indecent exposure?"

     "Says the man not wearing pants at all."

     "I'm getting them on!"

     The next footsteps were almost outside the door. As Iwa-chan stuck the key in the ignition, he asked, "You think you could suck me off while we drive?"

     "Geez, I always wanted to try that..."

     "So you've said. You in?"

     "Fuck yes."

     The engine roared to life and the headlights came on, defoggers starting to work on the windows while Iwa-chan shifted into reverse. He'd just gotten his own pants zipped and Iwa-chan was about to slip off the parking brake when the window fog cleared enough to see the shadowed figure outside the car window. The shape of a man took one step closer, and he knocked.

     "It's probably not a ghost," Oikawa muttered to himself, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "It's probably not a ghost, it's probably not a ghost..."

     "It's probably somebody telling us we're parked on private property," Iwa-chan answered. He grabbed Oikawa's jacket from the passenger side floor and covered the giant, throbbing boner that Oikawa was honestly impressed had survived in this situation. God, he loved his boyfriend, and not just for his miraculously durable boners. "I'm gonna open the window. Don't freak out."

     "Who's freaking out? I'm not freaking out!"

     "You're kinda freaking out. But don't worry, Tooru. I've got this."

     Oikawa counted two hands on whoever was standing outside when the window rolled down. Two hands and no hooks, looking very much like a solid human being. Although he couldn't see the person's legs. Everyone knew you couldn't be absolutely sure that you were looking at a human and not a ghost unless you could see their feet. Then again, this person did have footsteps...

     "Hey, sorry about this," Iwa-chan said. "We're just leav-- Hey, wait a damn second...!"

     With a thud, the figure leaned down through the window, eyes cutting through the night. They stared right past Iwa-chan, freezing Oikawa in his seat.

     " _You should have come to Shiratorizawa._ "


End file.
